2012, Beliefs

Bored at work again.

I had a few thoughts on the 2012 theories that everyone is throwing around. If you haven’t heard about it, supposedly sometime on or around the winter solstice in December of 2012, something big is going to go down that will drastically change the course of humanity. Some say it’s the end of the world, others say it’s the beginning of a new and wonderful phase of existence.

Here’s my opinions on some possibilities:

Read the rest of this entry »



The Plan (Again)

Ok, I think it’s quickly becoming apparent that even after 6 months, I still have almost no idea what I’m doing here, and putting me in charge of the place for any more than a few days at a time would likely put USG out of business.

So here’s the new plan:

  1. Keep current job for as long as possible, then get a new job when I am inevitably fired for incompetence.
  2. Meanwhile, work on writing my novel. So far, my literary work is my only work that both myself and others can agree has any merit.
  3. Finish my novel.
  4. Sell my novel.
  5. Become the next J.K. Rowling or Stephenie Meyer (sans vagina), and make a shit-ton of cash.
  6. Quit current job, work full time as author, write some more books, sign books, do TV appearances etc…
  7. Sell rights to books for movies, make even more cash.
  8. Open comic/gaming shop, hire manager to do the business stuff, and spend all my free time hanging out there.

So far the novel is at about 10-20% complete. Better get on that…


Six Degrees of Robert

FYI: my Bacon Number is now 5.

1) Kevin Bacon

was in Animal House with

2) Tim Matheson

who was in Chump Change with

3) Clancy Brown

who is the son of

4) Joyce Brown

who is having pictures framed at U.S. Graphics by

5) Robert L. Lynch


Resolutions 2010

TIME FOR MY ANNUAL BLOG POST! (Because I really only post regularly once a year…)

First We review last year’s resolutions and check my progress:

  • Stabilize my financial situation. (Bills and people need paid off… Rent and utilities still need paid… And it’d be nice to have some savings. The new job will definitely help here.)
    • IN PROGRESS. – 2009 saw the a wide variety of jobs. At the beginning of the year, I was just about to start driving semi trucks for a living. However, once I found out how horribly that job sucked, I went back to housekeeping, this time as a full time employee and not a student. That job sucked, but I was good at it, and the coworkers liked me. I thought I had my big break in June when I got called out of the blue to work at a real bona-fide graphic design job. I only found out later that the reason I was called by the company’s lead designer was so he could quit because of how horrible the company was to work for. I felt good about leaving the company twisting in the wind when the other designer and I both quit, but that left me unemployed for nearly four months until I found my awesome new job at U.S. Graphics. Small company, friendly boss, fun work screen printing, embroidering, framing, etc… I think I’m finally on the right track in my career after so many false starts. I still have a lot of debts to pay now, including student loans, truck driving school fees, credit cards, and several personal loans to family, but at least now I can start paying people back.
  • Get a car (Related to above. Had to sell the old one to pay the rent.)
    • DONE! – For my new job, I needed a vehicle, so my parents and grandmother pitched in and helped me get my new 1990 GMC S15 pickup. It was a usable $1300 truck that after a few repairs has become a pretty decent $3000 truck.
  • Forget the exercise and weight loss specifically, aim this year for general better health. (Again, my new job should help. Health insurance and all.)
    • SORTA IN PROGRESS – I had been using the Wii Fit, but I’ve slacked off on that lately. Not to mention the horrible things I’ve done to myself thanks to the holiday diet…
  • FINISH SOMETHING I’VE STARTED. Additionally, as an extended resolution, get something that I finish published within three years.
    • UM… NOT REALLY… – Yeah, that’s the one I always have trouble with.

Hmmm… Maybe 1.5/4… 38%? Man, I suck.

Anywho, 2010 RESOLUTIONS!

  • GET A NEW APARTMENT – This one’s important because I can’t commute 3 hours each way every day, and my uncle doesn’t want me staying at his house forever. This will be done by the end of January.
  • KEEP MY JOB – I had a bad habit of losing jobs this last year. I like my new job. I want to keep it.
  • PAY BACK SOME DEBT – Shouldn’t be a problem if I keep that last resolution.
  • BE HEALTHIER – Get back on the Wii Fit, and stop eating so much fast food. Etc., etc…
  • FINISH SOMETHING – Every year I say this. This year I mean it. Adrianna will be back in Japan, so I won’t be able to use her feminine distractions as an excuse for not getting anything done. I will have issue 1 of Department 13 done this summer.
  • KEEP UP WITH UPDATES ON HEROES INC. – It’s been a few weeks now without a real comic. I say I’m in a creative slump, but I’m also lazy.
  • GET A NEW COMPUTER – This will help a lot with those last two resolutions. Lappy 2 is starting to show her age, especially with Photoshop and 3DS.
  • BLOG MORE – I want to say a weekly blog schedule would be good, but I won’t push myself.

Any other suggestions? I’ll be glad to hear them.


End of the year, and a recipe

It’s starting to get dangerously close to 2008… Having taken my philosophy final this morning, today marks my last day of doing anything for classes this semester. I’m pretty well set for next for next semester, all I have to do is finalize my internship stuff. As of now, I am planning to work as the official graphic artist/webmaster/PR/advertising/etc… guy for my church for a few months. They really need a reworking of their corporate image.

But, as the year draws to a close, I a reminded of the new years resolutions I made last year, and how I failed miserably at all of them. So anyways, here’s my rough list of things I want to accomplish next year:

  • Exercise daily. Exercise more often. Exercise occasionally (I’m being realistic. Anything more than nothing is more than I do now)
  • Eat better (Pop-tarts and candy bars do not a balanced diet make.)
  • Lose some weight, gain some muscle (related to the first two.)
  • Get a new job (This one is a definite need, as I’ll be intelligible to be a student employee once I graduate in May.)
  • Move out of my parents house (This is also a need; If I don’t move out before May, I fully expect my parents to change the locks during the graduation ceremony)
  • Finish something I’ve started (I’ve got so many unwritten books, comics, screenplays, and video games in my head, it’s disappointing that none of them are out yet.)
  • Pay off Adrianna’s ring and my credit card (Interest rates are a killer.)
  • Improve organizational skills (My room looks like a flea market threw up in here)

I should put “get off of caffeine” on the list, but I’m going to just file that under “to consider after I don’t heve to wake up at 3:00 AM every day”.


On a completely unrelated note, I’m going to share with you a recipe for a great dish I like to enjoy on occasion:

Cheezy Wieners

What you will need to prepare this recipe:

  • Two (2) Hot Dog Franks
  • Two (2) Hot Dog Buns
  • Two (2) Slices of American Cheese
  • A plate
  • A Microwave Oven

To start, remove the hot dogs from their package, remembering to let the excess grease drip off of each frank before placing them on the plate.

Place the plate with the franks in your microwave and cook on high for 32 seconds. Cooking times with microwave ovens vary from model to model, so you may want to experiment to find out what time works best for you. When they come out, they should be warm, but not hot to the touch.

While the hot dogs are cooking, you can use this time to prepare the buns. I chose Kroger brand rich’n'honey buns, because they add a sweet flavor to the recipe which you don’t find with regular buns. Remove the buns from their package, separate and open them to be ready for the franks.

It’s always best to use the freshest buns possible; no more than 3 weeks past the expiration date is preferable.

After the hot dogs are heated, insert the franks into the buns, and place them back on the plate with the hinged side of the bun down. If your buns seem to be falling apart, you can rest the bottom sides of the buns against each other for support. Set the plate aside for the moment.

Unwrap the cheese slices and break each of them in half. Take one of these halves and break it in half again so you have three half-slices and two quarter-slices.

Lay two of the half-slices and the two quarter slices on the buns, covering the franks. Feel free to eat the extra half-slice now, or place it in a ziplock bag for later use.

Insert the plate into the microwave oven and cook on high for 30 seconds. This finishes cooking the hot dogs, melts the cheese, and softens the buns.

When all this is finished, serve with a chilled Mountain Dew, and your guests will have a delicious meal that they won’t soon forget. Bon Appétit!


You smell like beef and cheese! You don’t smell like Santa.

My family complains that I always ask for too much stuff for Christmas. “There’s just a lot that I want,” I tell them. It’s not my fault; I’m just very materialistic. Anyways, I think I should pare down my list to be a bit more manageable, so here’s just a few of the things I want for Christmas ’07:

  • Cash
  • DVDs are good, but since I have a ton it’s better to give a gift card so you don’t get me one I already have.
  • A Playstation 3
  • This or this or this shirt
  • A loyal army to do my bidding (Ninjas preferably, but robots are fine, too)
  • A week at a spa/holistic therapy clinic (Massages = good)
  • Cash
  • Video games – Some good ideas: Super Mario Galaxy, Metroid Prime 3: Echoes, or the Orange Box for PC
  • A 650-2600mm Telephoto lens for my Canon EOS Digital Rebel XT camera (Sports photography… Yeah, that’s it…)
  • A Kaya Optics 58mm PF4 Filter (for Agricultural Pollution Monitoring and Document inspection only, of course…)
  • A million paveviews on deviantART, and people buying my prints
  • Majority shareholdership in the Walt Disney Company (Who’s ready for some legitimate Little Mermaid hentai?)
  • A Digital Camcorder
  • Forged (but believable) records that say I am the rightful heir to the British crown.
  • A Flux Capacitor, a Mr. Fusion portable generator, and a car capable of traveling over 88 MPH (mine can’t)
  • Cash (or a gift card)
  • A one-week vacation to Japan to spend the holidays with Adrianna.
  • A Kawasaki Ninja ZX-14 (Black)
  • Superpowers (Super strength and invulnerability foremost, but super-speed and flight would be cool too)
  • More ram for my computer (Or just a new computer)
  • A publishing contract with a decent advance so I can focus on my books and comics
  • A Mitsubishi 73″ 1080p DLP HDTV
  • Maybe some people skills? Nah, just give me that TV.
  • Cash
  • The Boston Red Sox (To be renamed to the Boston Robert Sox)
  • A genetics research and cloning laboratory
  • DNA samples from Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba, Natalie Portman, etc…
  • Property in Nevada, and a license to open a brothel (These last three kinda go together)
  • A harrier jet or or F-35 (VTOL kicks ass)
  • The world’s rarest truffle (chocolate, not fungus)
  • Cash (maybe some in Euros, since the dollar is falling so much…)
  • A new laptop (Dell XPS, maybe?)
  • A spacious one-bedroom apartment close to campus for less than $300/month. (Yeah, right… compared to this, the Ninja Army sounds almost plausible)
  • A lifetime supply of Mountain Dew (3 can per day X 80 years = 29,220 cans)
  • Laser-eye surgery (not corrective; I want Laser-Eyes)
  • Cash

If I could pick just one though, I’d go for the Japanese vacation… I miss Adrianna… The genetics lab is a close second.

But then again, gift cards are always good. Or cash.


Fan Films

If I was a multi-billionaire and had plenty of money to waste, I would want to produce big-budget Hollywood-quality films using the intellectual property of others, and distribute them for free so I don’t get sued.

I’m sure you’ve probably seen Star Wars fan films. Imagine a Star Wars fan film with a Lucasfilm budget. Oh yeah.

Anyways, Here’s my shortlist of properties I’d love to see a good movie made of:

  • A good Super Mario Bros. movie
  • Legend of Zelda
  • Live-action Trigun directed by Robert Rodriguez
  • Star Trek: Ronin (My series; kind of like Cowboy Bebop meets Futurama)
  • Alternate version of Star Wars depicting the empire as the good guys and the rebels as terrorists
  • A movie co-directed by Quentin Tarantino and Kevin Smith
  • Homer’s Odyssey, but in space
  • Metal Gear Solid
  • Harry Potter / Lord of the Rings crossover (time travel maybe?)

Any thoughts? If you give me a billion dollars, I might add your idea to the list.


Busy now

Well, that was an unproductive weekend…

Things due this week:

  • Paper outline of film analysis for Topics in Art History (due Tuesday)
  • Reading response for above class (also Tuesday)
  • Write a paper on 5 movements in modern art for Research and Readings in Art (due Thursday)
  • Assemble and order midterm book for Digital Photography (due Thursday)
  • DPS on hieroglyphics for Typography (due Friday)

Things to do this week:

  • Study for Philosophy midterm (Thursday)
  • Sort out Internship junk (either get one lined up or drop ART 495 until spring)

All while still trying to work on:

…Ow. The thought of all this work makes my brain hurt. I think I’m just going to go play some video games after I finish writing this.

On another note, I’ve worked out some figures on my potential apartment budget.

Starting with income:

  • Paycheck = about $260 x2 monthly.
  • Therefore, monthly Income = $520.

Now expenses:

  • Average rent of 1BR apartment = $350/mo
  • Utilities = About $50 (water + sewer + trash + electric)
  • Engagement ring payment = $100/mo
  • Cell phone = $30
  • Car insurance = $20

So if I subtract the expenses from the income I get…. Negative $30. And that has to cover food and gas.

So since Plan C (Get an apartment from a private owner) seems to have failed, now we go on to Plan D (Find someone looking for a roommate). Great… The only way I can move out of a house full of annoying people I hate is to move in to a house full of annoying people I probably will hate.

Theoretically, I could just get a better job first. The problem is employers in Findlay are less likely to hire you if you live 30 miles away. Their reasoning usually involves snow and the missed work caused by it. The logic with this is circular; I can’t live in Findlay without a better job, and I can’t get a better job unless I live in Findlay. A real Catch-22 I find myself in… Thus, the roommate. If that doesn’t work out within a couple weeks, it’s on to the more difficult Plan E (Get a better job, then move out).

Lastly, on a completely unrelated subject, I finally figured out how to set the clock on my car stereo after having it about four years. The trick: Buy a new battery and install it at 12:00.